The future is now: virtual cycling

Its so realistic!

It's so realistic!

People will go to great lengths to exercise.  They will drive to a gym, pay a monthly premium, purchase the right apparel, and work all those muscles that they ignore while taking the escalator at the mall, the elevator at work, and the moving sidewalk at the airport.  There is paradox, however: increasingly, indoor exercise must feel as close to outdoor reality as possible.

I present the Expresso Bike.  It’s as close to riding a bicycle as you can get WITHOUT SIMPLY RIDING A BICYCLE.  Because, well, some people want all the joy of looking at a computer screen and being inside without the pain of feeling real wind, breathing fresh air, and enjoying the thrill of going down a hill at 45km (which is fast if you are me).

I can’t decide if this new virtual bicycle is good or bad for cyclists.  And yes, perhaps we should be indifferent.  It means fewer people riding bicycles, which is usually bad but has its benefits.  Remember that the people on these bikes are the people who drive somewhere to get exercise; therefore I question their logic and fear their unpractised balance and coordination skills.  Perhaps I prefer them off the road.  Yet the article suggests that they can wear their favourite cycling jersey to get a more authentic feel.  This is definitely bad.  Cyclists on real live bicycles riding outdoors have a hard enough time choosing non-hideous cycling apparel.  Given my previously stated concern over virtual cyclists reasoning capabilities, it should come as no surprise that their choice of “virtual” cycling apparel worries me.  Perhaps they’ll play out some lewd or misguided fantasy, like this woman (who shops at wallmart).

On her way to Expresso Cycle

On her way to Expresso Cycle

Just don’t forget to wipe down the machine.

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