Archive for the 'bicycle theft' Category

Local Trade School Reinvents Wheel

FIXED FOR LIFE.

Yale University has gone off the rails.  First, they issue perhaps the campiest recruitment video in the entire world.  And now, they have literally reinvented the wheel.  This time, no spokes.

Want to ride my bottle opener?

Amazingly, the spokeless rear wheel is only half of the wonder this bike provides.  Personally, I’m more concerned about what Paul Bunyan is going to do when he realizes that the derailleur hanger is missing from his gigantic Diamondback.

Giant proto-hipster?

In conclusion, I’d suggest that the people of Yale continually look over their shoulders for a fast-approaching mythical giant riding a recently-converted Diamondback fixed gear.  I bet Harvard students don’t have that problem. Of course, as you will notice, they follow cycling conventions to the letter: both wheels are perfectly spoked.

Harvard education = don't bend the rules.

Although, I’d hazard a guess that this guy has something up his sleeve:

Don't trust him.

In (a second) conclusion, heed Mulder’s warnings and trust no one.  Wow.  This post is an incoherent rambling mess.  Is it Friday yet?

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Bike Theft, L.A., and Street Justice

Hey! That's My Bike!

Cyclists in LA are suffering from an increase in bicycle thefts.  Apparently, Wednesdays are the worst days and Venice seems to be the worst area.  Not surprisingly, stolen bikes often end up on Craigslist.  Like most towns, the messengers are getting fed up with worrying about their bikes.  Unlike in New York, where cornered bike thieves end up on the losing end of a few punches and are told repeatedly “don’t steal bikes, bro,” LA thieves might find themselves less bruised but more humiliated.

The LA Times reports that a couple of messengers meted out the sweetest kind of street justice:

Some bike messengers last month took justice into their own hands when they caught two suspected thieves, teenage boys who attended a local Catholic high school. According to police, the messengers stripped down the teens to their boxer shorts before taking their cellphones, backpacks and clothes.

I suspect this kind of response will become known colloquially as “the Costanza”:

Keep your bike safely locked this weekend.

Where the A-holes are: British Columbia

All class.

Local a-hole Gordon Sinclaire Blackwell was arrested in British Columbia today and charged with possession of stolen property and theft, according to CTV.  Blackwell ran a bike shop in B.C. from which he claimed to collect stolen bikes and reunite them with their owners. Turns out he might not have been so kind hearted.  Is this the poor man’s Igor Kenk (who is himself the really poor man’s Bernie Madoff).

The picture is of Blackwell throwing eggs at reporters.  Ladies, I’m guessing he’s single.

Igor Kenk: Pleads Guilty, Gets 30 months

T-shirt should read: "I'm Guilty".

The Globe and Mail is reporting that Igor Kenk entered a guilty plea today to charges of bike theft and drug possession.  He was sentenced to 30 months, but will likely serve much less than that (in Canada, every day spent in pre-trial custody earns two days off your sentence).

The story is still developing, but this should suffice.

UPDATE: Kenk will serve 4 more months in prison.  He spent 13 months in pre-trial custody, which (when doubled) counts for 26 months of his 30 month sentence.  He’ll be out in time for Spring.

Igor Kenk: Bikes, Trucks, and his Shop

Bad Bikarma?

The Globe and Mail is reporting that a deal today will see notorious (alleged) Toronto bike thief Igor Kenk lose possession of his trucks and the thousands of bikes he has been accused of stealing in a bikes-for-drugs scheme.  Approximately 2,200 bikes (mostly junkers), recently appraised at about $50,000, will be sold off by the Ontario government and the proceeds will go to the crown.  I did the math: that’s approximately $22/bike.  Hit up that auction and find your next fixie conversion!

In return, Kenk will receive the benefits of a provincially-supervised sale of his Queen West bike shop.  Kenk bought his shop for $85,000 in 1995 and is mortgage free; due to the gentrification of Queen West over the past twenty years, the property is now valued at $700,000.  After paying $115,000 in legal fees, the rest goes to Kenk.

Of course, criminal charges against Kenk are still pending.  And he’s still jail.  So, let’s assume there’s more to come.

Bixi did well, better than Paris.

"Don't steal bikes, bro."

The Montreal Gazette is reporting that the city’s Bixi bike share programme enjoyed a successful first season.  Unlike in Paris, where 80% of its Vélib bikes were stolen or vandalized, Montreal seems to have escaped relatively unscathed.  Montreal had 5000 bikes with 400 docking stations, and although no official stats for the programme’s success have been released, organizers are declaring the inaugural year a success.

The Bikes will be pulled out on Nov. 15, to return in May.

Bicycle thief gets ass kicked by karma

Sucker.

Sucker.

A Sault Ste. Marie man got hit by a car while riding a bike he had stolen only minutes earlier.  The total d-bag (Ronald James Stewart) sustained only minor injuries and was treated on the scene before being arrested.

When asked to comment, Karma said “That guy was an asshole. See what I did there? I’m awesome.”